Okay, so you’re doing it. You’ve embarked on the trek that is wedding planning. Maybe you’ve started looking at vendors or locations or even started making a preliminary guest list. Maybe you've even read my first blog in this series about how to get started with planning your wedding! But before you go any further, STOP! Let’s get you started on the right foot so that you can make it through this marathon happy (and keep you from throwing your hands up in defeat at mile 5).

Making a budget early on in the process is so so important. In terms of managing stress, later on, it’s probably the most important thing you can do right now. Here are five ways to get started with putting a dollar sign on your big day.

1) First off, you need to figure out how much money you can spend.

Obviously, having even a rough estimate is better than having nothing, but having a specific budget for the day will allow you the freedom to prioritize the things that are the most important to you. In 2019, the average cost of a wedding in the United States was just above $23,000. You may be thinking more, less, or around that figure. But in a few months, you don't want your actual cost to surprise you. To start straightening out the money situation, do these three things:

Have an uncomfortable money conversation with your families.

Yeah, this is not going to be fun, but it has to happen. You don’t have to ask them to pay for everything, but knowing whether or not they’re planning to contribute anything will help you to shape your overall budget. If they are willing to help out financially, either have them commit to a dollar amount or pay for a particular aspect of the wedding.

Figure out how much you and your partner can each contribute.

Right now, how much can you and your partner comfortably commit to your wedding? How much do you have in savings and how will this wedding contribution affect it? How important is your wedding budget as compared to other goals further down the line (like buying a new house or a new car)?

Figure out how much you can both put aside from your income.

Look at how much each of you is bringing in and agree on a certain amount that each of you can put aside. Kudos to you if you’re early enough in the process that you can commit to a monthly wedding cash-fund (like a rainy-day jar but for weddings). Or maybe you both decide on a starting figure that you’re the most comfortable contributing and work from there.

2) After you’ve figured out a rough idea of how much you can budget for the wedding, it’s time to consider what’s going to have the largest impact on it.

The size of the guest list.

150 people or 25? That’s a difference of a few thousand dollars. If that difference fits nicely within your budget or your priority is having a big wedding with all your friends and family present, then stick with the 125. But if that few thousand dollars means breaking the wedding bank, maybe consider narrowing the guest list a bit.

The venue.

Okay, doubtless you want to be married somewhere beautiful. Sometimes that beauty is going to come at a high price tag. Make sure you have a clear idea of how important the venue location is for you (because I can tell you I have seen some remarkable weddings in a friend’s rustic barn and some just pretty-ok ones at luxury resorts).

The style of the wedding.

Classic, black-tie, elegant, and traditional are all styles that are likely to raise your overall price tag. These types of weddings typically mean steak or seafood and a live band, both things that can drive the total price up significantly. On average, couples spend just under $7,000 for a wedding of 136 guests (about $51 per plate of food). Be aware so that you don’t end up envisioning a lavish event where you can’t feed the guests.

The date.

Weddings during wedding seasons are always going to be more expensive (summer and fall). Weddings in the off-seasons, winter, and spring, are more likely to bring discounts on venues and vendors.

The time.

Believe it or not, having a wedding at 12:30 pm and 5:30 pm can be a difference of five or six thousand dollars. Evening weddings are often more sought after but often mean pro